Uncertainty Avoidance

Just like any other person who’s currently living their 20s, I question a lot of things. Be it the life I’m living in, the job I’m doing, the people I’m surrounding myself with, up until serious matter such as the contribution I have given to the society.

I’m an employee myself. I have the privilege to work 9 hours a day with 2 days off in the weekend. I love to call it as privilege, as I’m hoping I’m adding positive impacts to the company. I like doing my job. However sometimes, in a day light when I’m facing my computer, I can’t help wonder whether this is what I want out of life. Is this what I can see my self doing in another 3-4 years? What about my long time dream? How close am I to reach the goal? What have I done to make myself a better person?

Being a young adult as I am, I let this questions haunt me. There was the time when it became frustration, thinking that I’m not good enough and such a failure was more often. But then it came to my realization that this is the part of being adult. I have to accept it as it’s a part of myself. It awakens me but I don’t let it burden me.

Questioning something is not at all wrong. It’s the signal from my brain, by keeping myself conscious of what happens in my life. I don’t want to regret my youth, sure. But I also want to live it.

Nobody knows about life ahead us. Even, I don’t even know what I’m going to  have for dinner, if that’s the case. Uncertainty is common. The thing about it is we don’t let it to take our lives. Uncertainty is beautiful, if we really think about it. We’re ready, open ourselves up of anything, of probabilities we might not think about before. It opens the way, because it widens our options.

And I might want to have nasi goreng for dinner, or maybe some bakso, who cares anyway?

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7:30 PM at the office

This writing is made when I’m still at the office. Not like any other office, my workplace is mostly empty at only 7 PM and I honestly like it. I’m staying at the office, trying to waste the time as I’m waiting for my mom to arrive to Jakarta. 

Yes, this is the first time my mom coming here. This is even the first time she get to fly with an airplane. I fly her here. Is that an accomplishment? I think so. She’s always been wishing to come and see Jakarta and also see her youngest daughter.

As the clock ticks, I’m still thinking of so many things. Outside, a little rain is pouring. So romantic. With the warm light inside the office, a food that will be brought to me by a go-jek driver, I’m thinking of my existence. Of what I’ve been through this year. 2019 is coming, and I can certainly say that 2018 is my year. Sure I got few things went far from what I hope it will be, but that thing brought me to something way more beautiful. And that is this city.

I’ve been living here for few months now and can confirm that I like it being here. I like my friends, job, the place I’m living. It’s nice. Good thing I have low standard of satisfaction level. And that is a true bless.

See you. Stay positive.

Korea

Beberapa minggu ini gue jadi demam Korea. Mulai dari skincare, musiknya, dance, fashion style-nya, sampe influencer di youtube. Sukaaa.

Padahal dulu itu gue ga suka banget sama korea-koreaan. Denger ada yg suka korea aja gue jadi sinistic. Why? Karena gue mikir semuanya terlalu dibuat-buat. Mulai dari drama sampe plastic lives nya. Malesin.

Emang ya, kita ga boleh terlalu benci sama sesuatu. Bisa jadi ntar suka. Makanya gue harus hati-hati ga suka sama orang haha harus santay dan biasa ajaaah sis.

Awalnya gue suka Korea sih pas ga sengaja ngebuka youtube dan yg muncul di timeline itu ada prankster Korea, namanya sucking sunday. Nonton itu gue jadi ngakak banget. Setiap video lucu. Gue ulangi, setiap video lucu. Each one of them!

Plus juga keliatan kalau orang Korea itu sopan sopan banget dan fashion sense nya bagus dan seru. Andai gue bisa pake baju kaya gitu tiap hari tanpa diliatin orang-orang karena gue termasuk ke tipe org yg mood-nya banyak dipengaruhi oleh baju yg dipakai.

Sementara musiknya, gue masih denger yg beat dan artinya bagus sih. Mungkin kalau yg musik nya cute-cute mellow gitu gue masih kurang suka. Plus masih rada aneh ngeliat cowo2 yg glass skinned joget joget manja.

That’s it for now. See you guys.

Ngeluh lagi?

Konon katanya, semakin menua, semakin kita mudah merasa kesepian. Temen-temen makin sedikit. Perasaan jadi makin alus dan sensi. Ga heran Ibu di Medan suka ngambekan karena ditinggal sendirian.

Inget ga dulu waktu masih jaman SMA, apa tuh kesepian? Ga kenaaal.

Waktu dulu masih suka kesana kemari, nge mall, karaoke, camping, apa tuh kesepian? Ga kenaaal.

Gue inget jaman SMA dulu, hampir tiap hari pulang sore. Ngapain? Nongkrong di kantin, makan bakso bakar, pramuka, jalan jalan nyari sungai atau jembatan yg udah tua, bahkan naik ke berastagi. Parah ga tuh?

Saat itu sumpah gue ga pernah ngerasa sepi. Malah kadang butuh waktu sendiri. Dimana-mana temen. Kegiatan full, walau cuma main doang. Pulang ke rumah juga orang tua selalu dukung dan ga pernah marah. Karena tau gue juga bisa dipercaya.

Sekarang rasanya pengen ngulang semuanya. Lebay ye?

Tapi beneran sih. Seringkali tiap pulang kantor gue ngerasa ga tau mau ngapain. Ada emang beberapa temen yg ngajakin nongkrong, tapi gue tau bukan itu yg gue mau. Pada akhirnya gue nolak, dengan konsekuensi sampe rumah mala jadi gabut.

Serba salah ya anaknya?

Gue ga mau post ini jatuhnya jadi keluhan-keluhan, enggak kok. Cuma pengen menggambarkan suasana dan keadaan saat ini aja *anaknya emg mellow.

Jadiiiiiii…..

Kemana kita?

Update

Udah lamaaa banget kayanya ga nulis, fiuhh

Sebenernya banyak yg terjadi di hidup gue, cuma ga ada yg wow banget sampe perlu ditulis hihihi

Well, balik ke cerita waktu gue mau pindah ke jakarta. Sekarang udah 4 bulan lamanya disini. Yg dulunya pake aku-kau udah dibiasain pake gue-elu. Logat juga udah mulai beda.

Temen-temen di medan biasanya suka sensi kalau gue GA SENGAJA kepake logat sini. Contohnya waktu gue lagi chat an:

“Ya gapapa, nanya doang”

Temen gue langsung komen menyatakan ketidaksukaannya sama kata ‘doang’ hahaa. Ya mau gimana ya, ga sengaja. Plus kan kita harus kaya bunglon, bisa beradaptasi sama lingkungan sekitar lol.

Selama disini, gue cuma ketemu 1 teman kuliah dulu. Ga ada beredar kesana kemari karena juga kan sibuk kerja. Pas udah weekend, eh males. Emang ya, ga tau maunya apa.

Yaudah gitu aja dulu.

PS: makanan disini ga ada yg enak. Gue sukses makin kurus.

Puasa

Hola,

Selamat puasa semuanyaaa! Puasa gaak?

Anyway, biarpun ga ikutan puasa, tapi bulan puasa tahun ini efeknya paling lumayan ke saya.

Sejak udah nge kos dan kerja di bilangan Jakarta Pusat kayaknya jadwal makan saya mulai gak karu-karuan. Terutama di bulan puasa dimana warung banyak yang tutup plus gada temen yg mau diajakin makan karena pada puasa hihihi gimana ga makin kurus yaaa….

Kalau efeknya di kantor, jam istirahat pada lemes semua dan tiduran di meja masing-masing. Saya sampai ga tegaa huhu

Selain itu juga pada adem dan anteng. Sebisa mungkin lemah lembut. Kalau aja saya puasa bisa kayak gitu haha yang iya saya makin gampang esmosi karena lapaaaarrr.

Anywho,

Itu aja dulu sih ya. Bye

Malam minggu kemana?

Jadi malam minggu kali ini di Jakarta Selatan, ga bisa kemana-mana karena kaki keseleo

Apa? Kok bisa? Keseleo gimana?

Jadi tadi naik kereta turun di stasiun manggarai. Tau dong kalau di stasiun tuh, dimana turunnya, dimana gerbangnya. Jauh banget ke gerbang biar kita bisa keluar.

Jadi karena tadi udah males jalan, ribet, jauh, dan ojol udah nunggu, jadilah saya lompat pagar. Iya, lompat pagar.

Nah, pas lompat pagar, saya mendaratnya ga sempurna. Alias jatuh. Alias kaki kepelekok dan keseleo kaki sampe bikin bunyi “crack” gitu.

Sedihnya lagi, jatuhnya di becekan yang bau banget.

Sedihnya lagi, banyak banget yang liatin.

Sedihnya lagi, jadi ga bisa nonton mocca malam ini di filateli.

Siyal emang.

Padahal udah lamaaa banget pengen nonton mocca, dari SMA dan baru kali ini mau kesampean.

Siyal banget.

Mana sakit kakinya. Ga bisa jalan. Dan selasa ada acara penting.

Ini nih, akibat males jalan, jago2 an banget.

Jangan ditiru ya.